Our Favorite Thanksgiving Quotes from TV And Movies

Celebrate Turkey Day with these iconic quotes that are full of humor.

thanksgiving quotes
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Along with delicious food, Thanksgiving is very much about the flood of TV and movie specials that mark the start of the holiday season. And when it comes to holiday entertainment, there's always room for a little humor and touching moments. To celebrate Turkey Day, we've rounded up our favorite quotes from TV and movies.

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Master Of None

“Never too early to plan ahead, especially when it comes to matters of the tum.” — Dev Shah

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Gossip Girl

"Better Thanksgiving than never." — Dan Humphrey

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This Is Us

"When a nice boy who adores you offers you pie, say ‘Thank you." — William

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Will & Grace

"You're gonna give someone a perfect Thanksgiving, you gotta cook a nice, moist turkey. And I did. Well, me and a little friend I like to call the aluminum foil tent." — Will

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The Middle

"But we have to stay home. Thanksgiving's not Thanksgiving without Frugal Hoosier canned corn, Safeway boxed stuffing, and CVS pumpkin pie." — Sue Heck

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NBC Universal

"Oh, I should be thankful for the wonderful fall we've been having." — Joey Tribbiani

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A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

"I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast." — Charlie Brown

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The O.C.

"Do you know what I dream about when I dream about Thanksgiving, which is often? I dream about eating so much deliciousness that all the blood rushes to my stomach and I pass out at the table. Please don't deny me that." — Seth Cohen

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Universal Pictures
Funny People

"I swear to you, this will be your most memorable Thanksgiving, the one that you'll want the rest of your life. The one that you say 'man, it was never as good as that night.' So let this night be great." — George Simmons

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Paramount Pictures
Home For The Holidays

"Well, that was absurd, let's eat dead bird!" — Tommy Larson

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Miramax Films
The House Of Yes

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go baste the turkey and hide the kitchen knives." — Mrs. Pascal

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Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.
Hannah And Her Sisters

"I used to always have Thanksgiving with Hannah, and I never thought that I could love anybody else. And here it is years later and I'm married to you and completely in love with you. The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle, it really is." — Mickey

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ABC Photo Archives/ABC via Getty Images

"Here I am, 5 o'clock in the morning, stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt." — Roseanne

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WKRP In Cincinnati

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." — Mr. Carlson

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Cliff Lipson/CBS Broadcasting, Inc.
The Big Bang Theory

Amy Farrah Fowler: "Are you honestly comparing going to Thanksgiving dinner at Mrs. Wolowitz's house to one of the worst tragedies in human history?"

Sheldon Cooper: "Yes."

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Bento Box Entertainment
Bob's Burgers

"Every year I try and tell you guys that no one really sings Thanksgiving songs." — Bob Belcher

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Tandem Licensing Corp.
All In The Family

Guest: "I'm gonna have a leg, anybody else want a leg?"

Archie Bunker: "No legs for me; you can never tell where a bird's been walkin'."

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20th Century Fox Television

"When you two are done using that turkey as a courtship device, can you put it in the oven?" — Kurt Hummel

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Full House

"Okay, who wants white meat? Scratch that, we have dark meat or really dark meat." — Danny Tanner

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Alcon Entertainment
The Blind Side

"Well, are you spending Thanksgiving with your family? We have a ramble turkey… Eat all you want." — Leigh Anne Tuohy

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Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.
Pieces Of April

"A thought about Thanksgiving Day: Once, there was this day. . . this one day when. . . everyone realized they needed each other." — April Burns

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Elizabeth Meriwether Pictures
New Girl

"Here's a tip: Don't cook Thanksgiving dinner for five people in 14 hours. Here's another tip: Don't ask a guy out for a first date on the least sexy holiday in America." — Schmidt

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Warner Bros.
You've Got Mail

"Happy Thanksgiving... it's your turn to say back." — Joe Fox

"Happy Thanksgiving back." — Rose, Zabars Cashier

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20th Century Fox Television
How I Met Your Mother

"The Thankstini: A fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner." — Barney Stinson

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Gilmore Girls

"It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour." — Lorelai Gilmore

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